Captain’s Log

Captain’s Log – Day 1

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I have arrived in orbit of a nameless rock at the ass end of nowhere. On a personal note, I would like to point out that the recruitment slogan of Go Where No One Has Gone Before, while not strictly speaking inaccurate, fails utterly to convey the crushing desolation of the spirit which attends loneliness so profound as mine. I hold out hope that there will be some type of woman on this planet, though were I a betting man, I would pocket my ante and invest instead in TV dinners.

Also, I would like to point out that everything in this part of the universe appears to be magenta. I have no explanation for this phenomenon.

Captain’s Log: Supplemental

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I have made landfall. So far, no women.

Also, everything is still magenta. I am beginning to suspect that this may be indicative of some serious neurological deterioration, almost certainly centered in my visual cortex. I should sue.

Captain’s Log: Supplemental

Night has fallen. I have taken shelter under an outcropping of rock. It strikes me now that engineering courses at the Academy should really cover how to masturbate in a space suit. I am aware that this would be unpopular with certain of the faculty’s more conservative elements, though I am confident that a night spent cowering in a ditch ten thousand light years from the nearest bastion of civilization with aught but the hissing of one’s own respirator for company should be more than sufficient to bring them around to-

Oh, god. Something’s outsideOh sweet Christ, something’s outside.

 

 

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One thought on “Captain’s Log

  1. This is really cool! I really love the narrative / captain’s diary feel that a lot of people are doing to cover their No Man’s Sky adventures. Awesome post.

    I’m actually the Community Content Manager for NowLoading.co, and I would be thrilled if you considered cross posting your stuff to our platform. If you don’t know much about us- we’re the same team behind MoviePilot.com, and push to give awesome writers (like yourself) the exposure they deserve. Feel free to email me! tyler@nowloading.co

    Like

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